'Leaked MI5 File' Reveals Secret Tactics for Controlling Protesters and Voices of Dissent

A recently unearthed secret government file appears to show classified operations for managing protestors and other fringe groups.

An academic researcher found the mysterious reel of powerpoint slides attached to a non-descript document in the National Archives this week.

Although unclear, the slides give hints to a top secret MI5 meeting discussing methods for coercing public opinion. The slides also detail an elaborate network of covert operations involving GCHQ, extra-terrestrials and David Icke.

The slides are included here in their entirety:

The researcher who found the files - Chebbers Deighton, from Crumpsall - said: “I’ve been looking at this stuff for ages now. I still can’t work out what a power points is.

“Looks mostly like they’re using mind beams to make me less cleverer, get a job and stop chatting truths.

“Won’t tell you what I was looking for. None of your beeswank”.

MI5 have so far been unavailable for comment.