Codeine Soup: The Unbelievable New Miracle Food
The food industry is writhing in bloodshot panic over the discovery of a simple, wholesome and salubrious elixir known as Codeine Soup, scientifically proven to roll back the years and give an almost pre-natal appearance to regular drinkers.
Tom Richardson, a representative of The Industry, said ”I don’t want you to know about this”. Richardson is also a Scorpio, need I say more.
The recipe was discovered by new age mystic and alt-heath guru Mindman Djebus, famous for his bestselling books; ’Stay Smug, Eat Wind’ and ‘Lettuce is Satan’s Bumnuggets’.
Mindman Djebus was for many moons a disciple of ‘Food Babe’ Vani Hari, but a decade of intense sungazing and vigorous gin enemas finally led him to become more qualified than her when he found a 25m swimming badge down the back of a bus seat.
Codeine Soup is guaranteed to improve health and give you a glossy, natural-looking sheen*. It is also devoid of pesky chemical additives such as dihydrogen monoxide that the evil corporations just love to force down your unsuspecting neck pipe.
Requests for availability of Codeine Soup can be made to Vani Hari in the comments section of her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/thefoodbabe?ref=ts&fref=ts
(*as an alternative to MRSA samples and shards of brick)
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